


when the curtain drops, our touch is just a touch

by derogatory



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Sex, Choking, Come Eating, Dubious Consent, Jealousy, M/M, Possessive Behavior, Rough Oral Sex, ryuu/gaku is entirely in ryuu’s head lol, torao is a bad guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 23:48:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20572949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derogatory/pseuds/derogatory
Summary: The things he and Torao do seem explicitly wrong in those moments when Ryuunosuke's eyes linger on Gaku as he's changing. When Ryuunosuke makes up some excuse for the catch in his throat. Ryuunosuke knows this, feels it in every surge of guilt that rises inside him when he follows Torao into another room.





	when the curtain drops, our touch is just a touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [easternbunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/easternbunny/gifts).

Ryuunosuke moans into the kiss. It sounds so embarrassing, he thinks as heat rises on his neck. He's been really embarrassing lately. Ryuunosuke had always been so sure he could keep these sorts of embarrassing things in check; after all, he'd been able to become an idol even when he's not actually a sexy beast. He's been a good bandmate despite his many shortcomings as a performer. And he's even managed to put aside his deeper feelings and stay friends with the person he secretly likes. When he really thinks about it, Ryuunosuke knows there's no limit to the compromises he's been able to make with himself to make things easier for everyone. To tamp down the embarrassing parts of himself

But this — this kind of thing makes that more difficult. Things like what they're doing now, every time Ryuunosuke lets Torao corner him and force him into some secret space. Lay Ryuunosuke out over the sofa of some secluded green room of whatever studio and descend on him like now. 

Torao works Ryuunosuke's mouth open with his tongue and Ryuunosuke makes weak, hopeless noises into the gesture, grinding into his thigh. He feels Torao's low laughter in the center of his chest, their bodies pressed together, throbbing with need under their costumes.

There's something inherently wrong in the way Torao looks at him when the others aren't watching. The way he commands Ryuunosuke with a glance, a gesture, a hand forced between his legs that Ryuunosuke pathetically ruts against. It had started with a carefully brokered friendship, the occasional rabbit chat that had turned into an exchange of lewd photos. Ryuunosuke knew somehow that those could be used against him. But something about the danger of it, the complete assuredness with which he knows Torao could dismantle his life made the wrongness of the situation, the risk of it, so much sweeter when it finally ruptured. Torao pressing him to the wall and shoving his hands down Ryuunosuke's pants. That should have been the end of it, but Ryuunosuke is too embarrassing, too broken to stop it there.

Back in the present: "We should-" Ryuunosuke breaks for air like coming up from below water, swimming through a storm. "We shouldn't…" he trails off. He has no idea what they should or shouldn't do. 

All these things he does with Torao seem very wrong, but they're made infinitely worse when Ryuunosuke finds himself thinking of Gaku. Where Torao is rough and demanding, Gaku is all loose smiles and easy conversations. The way Gaku puts his hands on Ryuunosuke like they don't mean anything. How all his touches are gentle and kind. Friendly. 

What Ryuunosuke does with Torao is definitely wrong compared to his relationship with Gaku, but. Neither of them are relationships, not really anyway. He and Gaku are just teammates, they're friends, and that's all they will ever be. And Ryuunosuke wanting more, and stumbling into it with somebody like Torao- that's wrong, right? The things he and Torao do seem explicitly wrong in those moments when Ryuunosuke's eyes linger on Gaku as he's changing. When Ryuunosuke makes up some excuse for the catch in his throat. Ryuunosuke knows this, feels it in every surge of guilt that rises inside him when he follows Torao into another room.

And especially wrong now, when someone from either Trigger or Zool walks past the green room. When one of them tries the door and loudly declares the two missing members need to get ready for their performances soon.

"We need to stop," Ryuunosuke manages through a flurry of gasps as Torao mouths the side of his neck. The last person who came looking for them was Tenn, and unlike Touma, the Trigger center will absolutely break down the door if Ryuunosuke is even one second late.

Ryuunosuke's anxiety ratchets upwards at the thought of his secret being revealed to his friends. Torao should be more nervous about this, but it doesn't seem like anything makes Torao anxious. He's effortlessly confident in ways Ryuunosuke isn't, couldn't be. Ryuunosuke would ask him how he does it if Torao ever gave him an opportunity. Somehow whenever they're alone together it winds up like this, all need and no talking. _There's a lot we could learn from each other,_ Ryuunosuke finds himself thinking. But instead they shed their clothes like layers of conscience and Ryuunosuke desperately tries not to think of someone else when he comes.

Torao hums in a disinterested way, his leisurely kisses shifting into a pair of pointed bites along Ryuunosuke's jugular. Ryuunosuke tries to flinch away, but Torao is like a wild animal, snapping at prey and latching on when it tries to pull away. Torao's arms close tight around him and Ryuunosuke is so, so sure this isn't the right thing to do even when it makes him ache between the legs.

"You don't want me to stop," Torao mumbles into what's surely going to be a bruise. Ryuunosuke is lucky he hasn't gone to makeup yet, sure Torao would have messed it up with the intensity of their makeout. But Torao must've just finished in the chair; he's wiping half his foundation off on Ryuunosuke's shoulder as he makes awful work of the other man's neck. His arms slink down the length of Ryuunosuke's body, palming at his chest through his clothes. Ryuunosuke's pulse thunders in his ears. They don't have time to take their costumes off. Honestly, Ryuunosuke is not entirely sure he knows how to redo most of the jacket's accoutrements by himself. He's a bad teammate that way. He's being such a bad idol in so many ways lately he's losing track of whatever made him a good one to begin with.

"I," Ryuunosuke says. Everything seems like it's eking out of him in spurts, like blood from a wound, like water from a broken dam. Torao lifts his head, finished with sucking a mark into Ryuunosuke's neck like it's a medal. Ryuunosuke momentary jars with the strength of Torao's sneer. He looks so pleased with himself, like it's an accomplishment to lay Ryuunosuke flat with a look, to make Ryuunosuke a shuddering mess. Ryuunosuke's tongue feels swollen in his mouth, seemingly grown in size from the way Torao worked it over with his own, the coy ways he had sunk it into Torao's mouth in return.

"You want it so bad," Torao says simply and conversely, moves away. "Me first." He pushes and Ryuunosuke rolls onto the floor, palms stinging from the cool tile. The force of his fall is violent enough to topple a couple of water bottles on the nearby coffee table. One of the mirrors along the wall shakes. A pair of footsteps in the hallway pause. Ryuunosuke looks fast to the doorway, chilled blood in his veins, wondering if he could identify the person by the silhouette of their shoes in the crack under the door.

"Relax," Torao says, repositioning his legs on either side of Ryuunosuke. Ryuunosuke drags his eyes from the door (was that another hand on the doorknob? Is someone testing the lock again?) as Torao cards a hand through his hair. Ryuunosuke unconsciously leans into it; the scrape of fingernails over his scalp, the unyielding grip that pries his face to look back at Torao.

Torao's cock is already out, the tip of it bobbing between the slow, casual pump of his fist. Ryuunosuke's mouth waters on command like a dog.

"If you're worried about someone hearing us," Torao continues, leaning forward. Ryuunosuke moves in response, his mouth falling open like a well-rehearsed routine. "I can think of something that'll keep you quiet."

Ryuunosuke tilts his head back as Torao pushes forward, cock sliding along Ryuunosuke's tongue. Even with the wrongness of all this sneaking around, of thinking of Gaku when he's just supposed to be a friend, something about the salty taste in his mouth feels deserved. Ryuunosuke groans into the contact, palms itching to touch himself, help alleviate the unbearable pressure pounding between his legs.

Torao thrusts into him in a sudden, piercing gesture and Ryuunosuke's throat seizes. Choking around Torao, Ryuunosuke's shoulders quickly gather up at his ears in discomfort, his eyes watering. But just like nothing about this can make Torao anxious, nothing Ryuunosuke does seems to discourage him. Torao seems almost happy to ignore his clawless struggling. His fingers clench in Ryuunosuke's bangs, holding his face in place as his dick slides into the wet sleeve of his throat. Tapping the back of it makes Ryuunosuke gag and Torao lets out a shaky growl.

"Fuck yeah," he murmurs, licking his lips, a bead of sweat pooling at his collar. Grimacing, Ryuunosuke watches the other man's pulse flutter in his neck, his throat bob as Torao swallows hard. His hips jerk forward as he batters at Ryuunosuke's airway. 

For so long Ryuunosuke was sure he'd want sex to be gentle and easy, like Gaku's smiles. Friendly. He's not sure when that desire shifted. If maybe it was his own perversions that did something to distort his feelings for Gaku. Transforming that sad resentment for unrequited love into something dirty. Something that makes Ryuunosuke palm his crotch through his pants while his face gets fucked. Maybe he accepts this kind of rough treatment from Torao because he wants it or he just thinks he deserves it. Either way, when Torao groans and pushes Ryuunosuke's nose into his pelvis, Ryuunosuke moans wantonly around his cock.

Torao rocks back into that resisting muscle, laughing on a harsh breath as Ryuunosuke struggles weakly. Too weak; after all, he doesn't really want to pull away. This kind of thing isn't so bad- it's not like it's something Ryuunosuke doesn't want. Even when Torao rocks forward, the force of his dick burrowing against Ryuunosuke's throat, Ryuunosuke knows that touching himself through his pants isn't enough. He asked for this. He's happy to take it. This was a part of his body he'd been hungry to fill, desperate for it for years now. He'd spent too many nights overanalyzing every touch from his friend, every glance. It's a waste of time compared to what Torao can wring from him. This limited satisfaction that comes from Torao forcing him on his knees and fucking Ryuunosuke's face.

Ryuunosuke's eyes shut tightly, gasping around the intrusion, drool slipping from his mouth and down his chin. Torao's legs twitch and Ryuunosuke has a brief, blinding recollection of another time they did this. When Torao had followed him home, pushed his way through a half-opened doorway in the middle of the night. When he had pinned Ryuunosuke to the floor and drilled his throat raw. Ryuunosuke remembers the helpless way he'd struggled under that onslaught, tears coursing down his face as Torao had filled him for what felt like hours. His shaky hands slipping against the sweat-slick skin of Torao's firm thighs as Torao screwed his face, smothering his airways until tears poured down Ryuunosuke's face and his eyesight went dark at the corners. 

But they definitely can't do that again — at least, not now. Ryuunosuke wasn't able to sing for days afterward, and even if they've done it a few times since then (practicing, Torao calls it,) there's no way Ryuunosuke can perform in less than an hour if Torao plans on doing that to him again.

Ryuunosuke plaintively whimpers around his cock, directing a pleading look up through his hair.

Torao sighs, barely concealed annoyance on his face as he releases Ryuunosuke, shoving the other man back. "Fine," Torao mutters, shucking his pants off in a couple of swift motions. "I'll be nice to you this once." 

"T-Thank you," Ryuunosuke says. There's already a ragged edge to his voice that the others are sure to notice. Tenn made a big deal about the last time Ryuunosuke showed up to practice with a sore throat. And Gaku…

_What about Gaku?_ Ryuunosuke thinks, and even without his airway obstructed, a catch in his throat, there's a strange prickling at the corner of his eyes. As if Gaku would have any idea what kind of things Ryuunosuke goes through just to scratch this itch. To satisfy this urge that's all Gaku's fault in the first place. If Gaku would just give him a chance, if Gaku would consider even for a minute how Ryuunosuke might look like he does now; crumpled on the floor, chest heaving, lips overly red and used. Tenting in his costume pants, already hard just from having a cock shoved down his throat.

"Come back here," Torao orders and Ryuunosuke nods, crawls forward without a second thought. Every movement makes his crotch chafe painfully against the front of the slacks — they were tight enough already and now it's unbearable, he can't be sure he won't rip the fabric with the way the seams strain against it. Ryuunosuke lurches back onto the couch, grunting in surprise when he's forced hard onto his back.

Torao moves with brutal efficiency, fingers working at the complicated lace-up in front of his pants that Ryuunosuke's cock lunges against. Ryuunosuke isn't sure he'd be able to get it off so fast himself. Torao must've been looking at it the second Ryuunosuke put it on. Maybe he has a better understanding of Trigger's wardrobe than its members. Maybe every outfit Ryuunosuke wears is just another for Torao to rip off.

Torao shoves a hand at the center of his chest and Ryuunosuke leans back easily, lifting his hips to let Torao pull off his pants and underwear. His dick springs free, yearning in the open air of the room, and Ryuunosuke whines his own dark, animal way. Torao lets his eyes linger on his cock hungrily. How long had he wanted to see him like this? 

A blinding, cold water realization: _That's kind of cute, isn't it?_ Torao being excited to see him. His taking inventory of everything Ryuunosuke wears and imagining the two of them like this, taking it off together. _Torao-kun…_ Ryuunosuke thinks, watching Torao's expression fill with satisfaction. _He has some really sweet things about him._

That kind of sweetness crashes into Ryuunosuke unpleasantly. How much thought goes into Torao's side of the arrangement when Ryuunosuuke is so selfish; he only thinks of himself and his own needs. How it might be if Gaku was here.

But Gaku isn't here. It's Torao. And Torao is someone who sees Ryuunosuke as not just a friend but a man. Who knows the truth behind the erotic beast persona and instead of pity, instead of Gaku's blithe, uncaring acceptance of Ryuunosuke's soft nature: Torao desires it. Torao wants that soft nature and to have his own way with it. Ryuunosuke isn't that erotic of a man, but he does have needs, he does want to be looked at, wanted, touched.

Touched…

"Oh," Ryuunosuke murmurs, hips arching upwards. He's dizzy with the heat of Torao's stare, the way his hands are _right there_ but they aren't touching him where he needs…!

"You're being cute today," Torao murmurs, leaning over him, palms on the undersides of his thighs. Ryuunosuke nods. Yes, cute. He can be cute. He can do whatever Torao wants from him if it means he'll get — Torao will —

"Please," Ryuunosuke whispers. His mouth was full of fluid before, but now it seems overly dry. Painfully empty. "Please."

"Don't talk," Torao snaps, and then he spits. Ryuunosuke moans loudly at the sensation of wetness on his hole, of Torao's fingers forcing themselves inside with only the barest amount of lubrication. Ryuunosuke clenches his jaw but every held-in cry just encourages Torao's rough treatment, urges on the unkind movement of his fingers. Ryuunosuke tips his head back to stare at the closed door over Torao's shoulder. Surely Trigger is still looking for them; Zool gave up a while ago, but maybe Tenn will knock on the door again, more insistent this time. Everybody's looking for him. Everyone has these expectations of Tsunashi Ryuunosuke that don't fit into what he is now; a shivering mess, come on his lips, ass clinging to another man's fingers, hungry for more.

"You," Ryuunosuke says. The room is wavering back and forth uncertainly, like a boat on rocky seas. "You have to use—" he swallows hard. "We can't — I — dancing-" He wavers helplessly on the edge of pain and desire. When Torao forces himself on him without prep, it aches like an awful reminder of what Ryuunosuke might have had with Gaku. But that kind of ache won't work when they're backstage, when they still have to perform today, and if Torao keeps it up, Ryuunosuke isn't sure he'll be able to _stand_, let alone dance —

"I know," Torao mutters and a hand disappears to retrieve something from his discarded pants. A plastic ripping sound interrupts the wet sounds coming from between Ryuunosuke's legs. "I'm being very nice."

"Thank you," Ryuunosuke whispers.

"Very cute," Torao says again, drizzling lube between Ryuunosuke's asscheeks. He groans with the warmth of it, the way Torao's thumbnail scrapes against the abused skin there as he rubs it in. Ryuunosuke's muscles ease with the lube and Torao's touches, gentler now, and he groans throatily. "You'll make it up to me later," Torao warns. Ryuunosuke nods, promises falling from his mouth as Torao lines up his slick cock to his entrance.

As Torao breaches him, Ryuunosuke throws his head back, biting down on his lip to keep from making too much noise. Somehow they've gone unnoticed until now. Somehow nobody has realized Torao and Ryuunosuke are both missing, and that this green room is actually occupied. Somehow with all those pieces falling into place, Ryuunosuke is sure it will all come apart if he makes too much noise when Torao finally, finally slides home.

Heat rolls off Torao's body as he leans forward, hoisting Ryuunosuke's legs higher. The stretch burns like an endorphin rush, deep and satisfying. Ryuunosuke can't be sure how long it's been since he started wanting to be bent over, twisted into pieces like this and picked apart. When his friendly feelings morphed into something more sinister and dishonest. He should've discarded them immediately when they'd surfaced. He should've been strong enough to recognize that Gaku is a teammate and a confidant. That he trusts Ryuunosuke with his career, his life, and so much more. And Ryuunosuke had looked into that open, genuine care and thought disgusting things in the middle of the night. Imagined Gaku's cock spearing his insides, Gaku's fists wrapped around his thighs, his sweat dripping onto Ryuunosuke and mingling with his own.

Dimly Ryuunosuke knows this is as close as he will ever get to something like that. That taking Torao up on his offer was just a bargain he made to keep these awful, band-ruining feelings at bay. And it wouldn't just ruin Trigger; if the tabloids got ahold of this, it would destroy everything they'd worked for. It would throw a live grenade into his friendship with Gaku, the careful balance Ryuunosuke built for himself with a teammate-turned-friend-turned-unrequited crush. With Gaku not even a friend anymore, Ryuunosuke would just become some sad closet case, some former idol who'd been so thirsty for his friend's cock he blew up their whole lives. He wouldn't even be able to get hard to thoughts of Gaku anymore, it would all be too sad.

But that's not the reality, not yet. For now Ryuunosuke has this sweet consolation. He has rough hands on him, his knees pressed tight to his chest. Ryuunosuke's ankles dangling in the air, toes twitching each time the other man bottoms out. He pulls back until only the head of his dick sits inside and Ryuunosuke struggles not to beg, not to whisper sick, filthy things to get that cock to sink back into him. 

Over and over they build this rhythm, breathing hard between them, while Ryuunosuke's neglected dick throbs. He's used to going without, but with every thrust, every brush against him is torture. He wants it, needs to have this release so, so badly. He's not sure he's ever wanted anything more, not sure ruining the band, those friendships, if they all wouldn't be worth it to lose just to have his insides plunged deep to his core.

Ryuunosuke's mouth hangs open, eyes barely open. In this position, he could maybe squint and it would even look like the man hunched over him was —

"Gaku," Ryuunosuke moans. Torao stops mid-fuck. A tense silence hangs thick in the air as the hair on the back of Ryuunosuke's neck stands straight up. He swallows; the feeling aches behind his Adam's apple.

"Ah, Torao-kun-" Ryuunosuke breaks off mid-sentence, shouts as Torao's hips snap forward. A strong arm clamps over his shoulder, holding him in place as Torao drills into him. There was lube and some prep but then there's this; the slam of Torao's pelvis to his ass, the violent pound of bones grinding tightly together. 

This was stupid, he shouldn't have said Gaku's name. He should know better- Torao has every right to be mad. "I'm — I'm sorry," Ryuunosuke stammers, shaking hands clawing at Torao's shoulders. His abdomen shudders with the force of Torao's movements.

"What the hell," Torao spits, fingers pressing bruises into Ryuunosuke's thighs, nails digging half-moon marks into his skin. Ryuunosuke struggles to catch his breath, to get enough oxygen to shout in pain. "You're fucking kidding me!" He finishes his snarl with a particularly brutal thrust, tapping into Ryuunosuke in a spot deep inside that forces past a coil of nerves inside him.

"I-" Ryuunosuke slides back against the couch, head bumping into the arm of the furniture. Torao has him crowded tight to the surface, hair matted in his eyes, sweat dripping from his forehead. His expression is too painful to look head-on; angry and betrayed. Ryuunosuke aches deeper than his muscles, from more than the force of Torao piercing him. It's too sad. Torao definitely doesn't deserve to be treated like he's just a body, a replacement for someone else.

"Torao-kun," Ryuunosuke manages weakly, reaching out for his face. He wants to cup Torao's jaw in his hand. He wants to comfort him, let Torao knows he sees him for the man he is, not the person he isn't. "You're — hurting me."

"Good," Torao says instantly, so venomously it knocks Ryuunosuke off balance. "Who said you could enjoy this?"

Ryuunosuke chokes back another groan. No, Torao is right. Ryuunosuke doesn't deserve to comfort him. He deserves to be treated roughly. He's doing a bad thing on so many levels. Torao doesn't deserve this. Neither does Gaku. Hell, the station they're performing with tonight doesn't deserve the complete mess Ryuunosuke's going to make of this couch when Torao's through with him.

"I'm — Ah…!" Ryuunosuke cries, hoping the cushions will muffle it if he cries. "I'm sorry — mnn!" Torao's pace only grows more punishing with the stumbling apology. Ryuunosuke bites the inside of his cheek, sure he tastes copper, sure he's bleeding at both ends now. White pinpricks dance through his vision like he's been staring at a spotlight too long. Pain rolls over him like waves, angry heat cascading over him with every awful pound.

"No," Torao growls, "You don't get to look cute and apologize. Not this time." Torao lifts himself on his arms and for a moment Ryuunosuke is relieved. It's over, Torao's too mad to be aroused. It's a shame they'll have to end early, but maybe this way Ryuunosuke can still perform. He won't be able to sit for a week, but tonight he can still work off the endorphins. The other members of Trigger and Zool don't need to know how sideways this secret meeting went, how gladly Ryuunosuke let himself be assaulted in the backrooms.

But then Torao leans forward again, pressing down on his forearm, holding it to the hollow of Ryuunosuke's throat. Ryuunosuke grapples at Torao's arms, trying to get some leverage. Torao's furious expression twists and he presses his weight down firmly. It's like an iron bar against Ryuunosuke's windpipe and he would be impressed with the muscle thrumming under his grip if it wasn't cutting off his air supply.

Ryuunosuke's eyes are saucer-wide. His mouth hangs open uselessly. It's not gagging around Torao's cock this time, but the pained noises make the organ lodged in Ryuunosuke's ass pulse. Torao's whole body is electrified with arousal and he laughs awfully as he lifts his arm a fraction of a degree and air rushes back into Ryuunosuke's lungs.

"Wait-" Ryuunosuke gasps, writhing as the weight comes back down. He's getting dizzy and worse, he can feel his erection, previously wilting under the roughness of Torao's thrusts, start to awaken. His cock pulses against his stomach, come oozing from its tip and smearing against his skin. Ryuunosuke's arms fall limp at his side, every ounce of fight seeping from his limbs. He doesn't want to fight; he deserves this after all. Torao should've done this from the beginning; wrung the life from Ryuunosuke while he fucked him. Ryuunosuke's head tips back, room spinning around him. His vision is blurry at the edges, tunneling out with pain and a lack of oxygen. Torao grunts, lifting himself off Ryuunosuke as his hips stutter out of rhythm and he pulls his cock free. It seems like Ryuunosuke is falling endlessly, greedily sucking air into his lungs with every tattered breath.

"Yeah," Torao says and Ryuunosuke's mouth creases into a strained smile at the pleasure lacing through his voice. "Yeah, just like that." Torao watches him through heavily lidded eyes, lip between his teeth as he jerks himself off. Ryuunosuke doesn't have the energy left in him to move away, but he hurriedly struggles to pull his shirt and jacket up his chest, as Torao aims his cock over his stomach. Come paints Ryuunosuke's skin sticky and white, standing around starkly against his tan lines, against the swollen redness of Ryuunosuke's cock. He hasn't come but somehow just being able to breathe again is enough of a reward. Better treatment than Ryuunosuke is sure he deserves.

Torao leers, scraping his fingers through the mess of jizz pooling over the other man's body. Ryuunosuke tries to shy away; they can't get it on the costumes. 

He spoons a fingerful to Ryuunosuke's mouth. "Swallow it," Torao orders and Ryuunosuke nods weakly. He parts his lips dutifully, letting globs of the white substance ooze over his tongue. They slip down his throat, already sore from the abuse its suffered outside and in. Ryuunosuke grimaces with every swallow.

"Good boy," Torao whispers and suddenly the pressure is gone, and Torao is on his feet, stepping back into his slacks. Even now that he's moved away the weight of him clings to Ryuunosuke like a heavy coat, like bruises etched into his bones. Gingerly Ryuunosuke lifts himself onto his elbows, resolutely looking away from the wet spot that's spreading on the cushions beneath him.

They screwed up. Or Ryuunosuke did. He wonders how many seconds he has to put himself back together before they have to go on stage. Trigger's latest song doesn't have too complicated of a dance routine but — he still has to perform. Even after he had told Torao to take it easy... But it doesn't matter what Ryuunosuke had asked for, what he wants from this arrangement; he'd screwed up and thought about Gaku too much. He always thinks about Gaku too much and this time Torao had punished him for it. And now Ryuunosuke will have to limp through a whole routine. Tenn will scold him about and Gaku won't understand —

"Oi, Ryuu." The voice on the other side of the door makes Ryuunosuke's stomach do several flips. He wasn't sure he still had any strength left in him to feel anything but pain, but somehow at Gaku's voice, affection bursts inside him, like the sun breaking over the horizon. It pours through Ryuunosuke along with the annoyed tone of his friend's voice, unseen, "Where the hell are you? Tenn's getting mad."

Torao stands frozen, his pants halfway buttoned up. They both stay completely still as if somehow any sign of life would be immediately noticed by Gaku in the hallway. 

Gaku huffs in a familiar away that Ryuunosuke knows means he's mad now too, not just Tenn, and bizarrely that makes Ryuunosuke's worn down arousal lurch back to life. Now Gaku's taken to wandering backstage too, calling for Ryuunosuke. He wouldn't dream of Ryuunosuke hiding out somewhere to getting screwed. That kind of freakish thing wouldn't even occur to someone like Gaku. Gaku is such a good guy, he wouldn't have any idea that he's wasting his energy worrying about Ryuunosuke. He cares about what Ryuunosuke does when he's not around and Ryuunosuke knows, he _knows_ that's just because Gaku is such a good friend. That it doesn't mean anything like that. But the fact that he's on Gaku's mind at all, that he thinks about Ryuunosuke when they're not together, that the other man might call his name and worry about him…. 

Gaku shuffles away, down the hall, blissfully unaware of Ryuunosuke inside the green room, wetly rocking his cock into his hand.

"Mm," Ryuunosuke murmurs into his shoulder, tongue heavy against his lower lip. He's almost cross-eyed while he watches his cock hardening in his grip, the outside of Gaku's shoes once visible under the door. He imagines himself at Gaku's feet, panting like an animal. Gaku's hand in his hair, forcing him down. He'd lick those shoes if he had an opportunity. He'd let Gaku fuck him into the carpet, rip him apart with his teeth. He wants everything from his friend, all kinds of unfriendly things. He wants Gaku to be the reason Ryuunosuke's covered in bruises, to be responsible for how Ryuunosuke will definitely miss a few steps in tonight's performance, too sore to react in time. Wants Gaku to be the one that looms over him now, open anger over his expression.

"What are you doing?" Torao growls, blocking the doorway from his view. Ryuunosuke moans piteously as Torao straddles his lap, prying Ryuunosuke's hand off his cock. He replaces it with his own and squeezes until Ryuunosuke can't hold back a shout. The retreating figure in the hallway pauses — _Stay,_ Ryuunosuke thinks, _Stay and join us. Or just watch as someone else does to me what I want you to do. Would you like that, would you even like me when it was over?_

And as the footsteps fade from earshot, Ryuunosuke has to wonder if he even likes himself.

Torao's grip over him is tight, his words as thick as poison in his veins.

"You're _mine_."

**Author's Note:**

> what if I wrote... more toraryuu smut... but this time really rough and dark..... ahaha just kidding..
> 
> unless..?
> 
> follow me on twitter @mobchuu!


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